Saturday, July 31, 2010

Emergency Room at Northwestern Memorial Hospital


Fifty finches, parakeets, cockatoos. My name is Mr. Rivera.


Ambien, Ativan, Lipitor. My beautiful wife—she’s 10 years older.

I already have three psychiatrists! I came for a psychologist. My beautiful wife, I’m driving her crazy. I want to talk and she doesn’t want to listen.

She’s an alcoholic. I steal for her. I steal six beers for her, every day, for the last 10 years. Never get caught, and I’m worried. I am committing a felony.

I didn’t say that I am Santa Claus. I said that I like Santa Claus. He brings presents to children. Six beers, every day, the last 10 years.

Yes, a referral, that’s what you call it. You can call Dr. Joseph but you will probably get Dr. Elaine. She helps Dr. Joseph.

It is Thursday or Friday. I am 48 years old. The month is July. Yes, I know.

I told you. Fifty finches, parakeets, cockatoos.